The Lion King (Remake)

The Laser Gravitational Wave Observatory (LIGO) projects a linear line of protons so straight that it can detect the distance between the sun to the nearest neighboring star within the width of a single human hair.  These straight lines of pristine consistency run over a 4 kilometer path so well ordered that it will be disturbed by things that had happened in the universe over 1.5 billion years ago in space time.  However, even LIGO is less linear than the plot of The Lion King, a movie so straight forward it's technically impossible to know when you are observing it or a commercial for it.  Scientists refer to this phenomenon as "The Simba Hypothesis", a follow up to Schrodinger's Cat, where the protagonist some how never seems to be in either conflict or at rest.  There are statements made towards the context, but these words carry the emotional weight and depth of an applause bar going off for the audience to be reminded that they are still in that funny limbo between a nature documentary and a coke commercial.  Its the type of inter-character dialogue that would upset Tommy Wiseau's sensibilities, and until Pumba shows up there is a nagging feeling in your head about how the film was working better when it didn't feature any of the leading characters and David Attenborough was secretly prattling off made-up facts of the Serengeti in the back of your mind....which leads us to our final observation: What do you call taking credit for directing a film that's already been directed?  A "Favreau".